Well, Fall is here --Fall Break and Fall Weather!! I can't really decide if I like fall. Yes, it is very pretty but I love the spring and summer. Fall means dead ol' winter is on the way. UGHHH!
I am sitting her on a Friday evening, waiting for the hubby to walk through the door. H-is upstairs watching the "tellie" and K- is with her friends tonight. I am very jealous where she is at and where she is going. If you are on Facebook list you will know where she is.
I have been a very prayful mom these last two weeks. It strikes me as funny that the more tough the times get the more we pray then when things start getting better the less we pray. I know that is probably true for many. H- has been so sick for about two weeks. My thoughts have taken me from ever possible realm of what could have been wrong with her. The thought that I would have a child that could have a deathly illness made me physically sick. I came home from school one day and begin to frantically clean. I mean Clorox clean!!! I am not a housekeeper by any means but I had to do something. I just started washing and spraying whatever I could get my hands on. I went for four hours straight with my thoughts on finding the germ and killing it. Killing it like a bug-- if I could find it then I could take it way from my baby who was so miserable. I knew in reality that the bug wasn't here but I felt like I had to do something. I couldn't control the situation but I was trying. I knew in my heart and head that God was in control but I knew I had to do something. I was panic streakin' to say the least. When she got home, I gave her a bath. I wanted to wash her good. She is 10-- she can do it herself you say. I know that but I needed to do it. I needed to know that I was doing all I could. I wanted so bad to take this away from her. The night before she and I were laying in the bed and she starts sobbing--loudly and uncontrollably. She had had it!!! I just started to pray out loud--which is not me. I cried out to the Lord to stop this illness and heal her. To lay His hands on her. She and I cried and prayed for awhile. Finally we both calmed down and she fell asleep. She moved, tossed and turned all night. Her ears were hurting and her body was hurting. I was up all night, heating up rice bags (thanks to my big sis:) and crying out to the Lord. Tuesday, I called the doctor and told them I was coming back in --4th time. The ran test and all negative. But that little devil was still sitting on my shoulder say ' they could have missed something'. I continued to pray all day on Tuesday as I held her. She slowly started to get a little better Tuesday and by Wednesday she begin to turn the curve and top the mountain she had been climbing. Dad emailed me and said (she stayed with him while I worked--thank you daddy) and said she was tapping her foot, moving around more, talking (now if she isn't talking something is wrong) and acting more like herself. Today has been a good day. Although she still looks drained she is bouncing back. Prayer!!! What more can I say.
My prayers now turn to a little fellow in LV that has been kidnapped. I pray God's power on those who have harmed him and have him. My heart aches so much for the sin that he is going through that is not his sin to bear. I can't turn to foxnews.com without my heartbreaking and tears coming to me. A reminder to pray and not to cease praying. Harm touched my little girl in the way of sickness now harm is touching this little fellow-- God, please bring him home safely. Either to his Earthly home or to your heavenly home!!! Let him feel no fear Lord!!!
I don't know what is going to happen in my life, in our world, in the life of those I love but I do know that God is in control. Those aren't words --that is a promise He made for me and you!!!
Well, I didn't know when I begin to write where it would go. I have felt the need to write for several weeks now but I fought it due to not knowing what exactly to write. So I sat down, in the quite of my home, and begin to write. God led!!
I read a few blogs each day that so inspire me (I have them listed to the side here) and I hope my words inspire too. I may write more later but for now I am HUNGRY!!!
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Oh Debbie I have been there myself. Reading your blog brought tears and many memories. When your children are sick there is no worse feeling of being powerless. God is the best of all planners! I am not a preaching christian but I do believe in God and I do know that he answers prayers. He answered mine every single time. Exhaustion is evil. It can play so many tricks on your mental state it is unreal and as a mom its not like you can just let someone else do it. WE always have to do it. I remember Gregory having pneumonia for the first time. He was screaming and throwing up and I had no idea it was pneumonia...I mean who knew that the pain in your lungs could be so bad that it would make you throw up? I could go on and on here but I won't it hurts to much to remember but the good news is that she is better and she has turned the corner. Hang in there my dear! -Alisa
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